Help please on handwriting?

like im in middle school and all the girls have cuter legible handwriting than i do.plus i think i have been griping the pencil to hard because every time i write my hand gets red and i have a big red inflamed puss filled bump on my finger which i hold my pencil against.I am right handed also and since my right hand gets tired more and hurts A LOT im trying to learn to be left handed but its making me more frustrated because 1 it already hurts my eyes to look at my right-handed handwriting plus it only makes me more frustrated when everyone tells me i right neat when i don't.plus with my right hand i have been trying to write with my pencil leaning against a different finger (i write with the pencil leaning against the finger closest to the worthless pinky)but so far all i have gotten is more frustrated and mental because mi friend has neat handwriting so i tried copying hers but she said i was crazy and so far im failing and its gotten so bad where i want seriously thought about cutting my hand off when i am alone.haaaaaaaalp....pretty pretty please with nice handwriting help on top